"Patrick George" (pgeorge) 04/30/2014 at 19:08 • Filed to: Cressida Bonas

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So Prince Harry of a country called "England" !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! he was dating, according to my wife, who keeps me up to date on celebrity gossip. The kicker is that her name is Cressida Bonas. Seriously. Cressida Bonas .

I had no idea there was actually a person named Cressida Bonas out there in the world, so now my mind is completely blown. As such I have compiled a list of women Prince Harry should date now that he and Cressida Bonas are no longer a thing:

-Maxima Camshaft

-Avalon Refrigerator

-Lumina Skullface

-Camry Flamepaint

-Triumph Understeer

-Lightbulb Wineglass

-Orlando Studios

-Xenia Onatopp

Feel free to add your own.

offroadkarter > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:12

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what about Genesis Texas?

Your boy, BJR > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:12

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Lexus E'essthreehundred

DailyTurismo > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:13

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Sierra Cutlass

Sienna Highlander

Altima Datass

911 Snapoversteer

Tom McParland > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:13

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-Sienna Miller...shit that's real. My wife really likes the name Sienna if we have a girl (we are not prego BTW) and really it's not bad,.... BUT I'M NOT NAMING MY KID AFTER A GODDAMN MINIVAN!

Sorry for the yelling. I've been meaning to get that off my chest here on Oppo but the opportunity never came up until now.

Your boy, BJR > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:14

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If she's a stripper, Mercedes Ferrari.

Tom McParland > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:15

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Oh I don't think the Queen would approve of Ms. Lumina Skullface. She sounds like she has a "questionable lineage." But then again it is Harry so....

PS9 > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:15

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-Cummins Powermax
-Coyote Ugly
-VanessaLaVanessa
-Hachiroku Sheila
-Veneno Roadrunner

For Sweden > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:15

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Shouldn't Harry be dating someone named Opel? Or Sierra?

Patrick George > Tom McParland 04/30/2014 at 19:17

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Yeah, it's just Harry. She has the grandkid now, fuck it.

PS9 > Tom McParland 04/30/2014 at 19:17

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'Quattro' would be an extremely odd middle name for a little girl.

Your boy, BJR > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:18

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Dr. Lada von Steeringlock.

Patrick George > For Sweden 04/30/2014 at 19:18

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Sierra Cosworth! That's it. Perfect.

offroadkarter > Your boy, BJR 04/30/2014 at 19:18

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What about Tiffany Mercedes Lexus?

Leadbull > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:19

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Karma Maltese

Marissa 325xi

Troll (Norwegian girl)

Your boy, BJR > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:20

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Gozer the Destroyer

Spaceball-Two > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:20

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"And now gentleman turn your attention to main stage and get those singles ready! It's Elentra Thunderbird!"

Your boy, BJR > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:21

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Medusa Oblongotti

PS9 > offroadkarter 04/30/2014 at 19:22

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I like Lexus Texas better.

yamahog > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:23

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Oh man, you guys would love my cousin's kids' names:

Wolf Ignatius

Pascal Bernadette

And I thought I had it rough when my mom made my initials spell BEEF.

Tom McParland > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:25

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Hate to change the subject but can you help me convince Matt that this needs to be a thing?

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/again-this-wou…

I've already pitched him twice and I don't want to be an ass and bug him again. Will be happy to discuss via email if need be.

Thanks

Tom McParland > DailyTurismo 04/30/2014 at 19:26

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Snapoversteer sounds like your gonna need to see a doctor after a night with her.

Patrick George > Tom McParland 04/30/2014 at 19:30

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Duly noted. That's all I can say at the moment.

lonestranger > DailyTurismo 04/30/2014 at 19:30

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Cutlass Ciera?

Your boy, BJR > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:32

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Alizé Thunderbird

DailyTurismo > Tom McParland 04/30/2014 at 19:47

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Oh snap!

The Compromiser > Tom McParland 04/30/2014 at 19:47

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uhhh Tom, I hate to be picky here buddy. I love your writing and all, an ima let you finish, but we have a sub-blog for caps posting. I don't think we should let these non car related typing styles clutter the front pages of this glorious website.

#TROLLOLOLOOLOLOLMAFO ;)

The Compromiser > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:51

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"One reason for the breakup is that Bonas, at the age of 25, had her own ambitions that were increasingly being overshadowed by her high profile relationship. She recently completed a one-year contemporary dance course at the Trinity Laban Conservatoire in London and now has a marketing job."

Anybody else misread where she is studying dance? Yes I'm 12...

Hur Hur hur..

Tom McParland > Patrick George 04/30/2014 at 19:53

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Much appreciated

offroadkarter > PS9 05/01/2014 at 00:38

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I wonder if Lexus Texas ever goes on Lexis Nexis

Canerbry > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 04:40

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Alexus Texas

Hawkstrike6 > Tom McParland 05/01/2014 at 10:33

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C'mon ... it's better than Odyssey Dawn.

Hawkstrike6 > PS9 05/01/2014 at 10:34

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Dacia Sandero. I'm sure she's petite and totally hot.

Tom McParland > Hawkstrike6 05/01/2014 at 10:34

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This is true...Odyssey Dawn sounds like she is destined for "adult films"

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Tom McParland 05/01/2014 at 10:54

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But would you name her after Sienna Miller?

Tom McParland > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 05/01/2014 at 10:55

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Well that is the wife's inspiration...but I still think minivan. Especially since we own a Sienna

HiMyNameIsJayAgain > PS9 05/01/2014 at 11:29

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VanessaLaVanessa

MooseKnuckles > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 11:31

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Bonas wouldn't let him bone ass

Sorry.

Bullitt Ride > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 11:32

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All of these suggestions and no one has mentioned Porsche Turbo?
Remember to pronounce Porche properly otherwise it doesn't sound feminine at all...

Bullitt Ride > PS9 05/01/2014 at 11:35

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Rehash that Japanese one to Hakosuka Hachiroku...

Caspian Kilkelly > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 11:40

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Ghia Ghibli

Karmann Duesenberg

Maserati Quattroporte

Ms. Ubishi Starion.

Caspian Kilkelly > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 11:42

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Also: It's a somewhat uncommon name. Not unheard of, though - Shakespeare named half a play after the original Cressida.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cressida

Bullitt Ride > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 11:43

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Ginetta Morgan

Maxxuman > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 11:44

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Dragony Ramsbottom

Bullitt Ride > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 11:45

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Nova Berkeley

Bullitt Ride > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 11:45

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Ariel Caparo

Vizzini > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 11:53

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With all these names flying around, methinks the jilted Miss Cressida needs to date this guy next:

trumpscombover > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 12:21

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Xenia Onatopp has always annoyed me. all the other Bond girl names make some sort of sense as puns

RosarchII > Tom McParland 05/01/2014 at 12:22

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"We" are not pregnant because only she can be pregnant. I really hate that crap when people say "we are pregnant", it just annoys the shit out of me for some reason, nothing against you by the way. Carry on.

Tom McParland > RosarchII 05/01/2014 at 12:24

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I was going to write "we are not expecting" but I was on mobile and Kinja likes to screw up my spelling on that platform. But yeah...I thought about it after I wrote it and felt weird.

King Ginger, not writing for Business Insider > trumpscombover 05/01/2014 at 12:27

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"In my dreams I Xenia Onatopp of my Golden Gun."

Its a stretch, I know.

trumpscombover > King Ginger, not writing for Business Insider 05/01/2014 at 12:30

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guess i missed that quote, but I figured it was something like that. still, it's no Pussy Galore.

sgtyukon > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 12:32

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For maximum public acceptance, I think Harry should marry a woman named after a British car. Obvviously, Humber Supersnipe is both too old and too masculine, and Minx would work, but Hillman wouldn't really, so I'm soliciting suggestions.

Maxxuman > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 12:37

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LaToya d'Crown-Prince

Paul Huqsse > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 12:40

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And if you guys could know what "Bonnasse" means in french slang... You'll know why her whole name sounds really like a moulin rouge stripgirl stage name. Or Pornstar.

BlippityBloppity > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 12:45

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The often tipsy "Reliant" Robin Mariner.

methsaxwell > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 12:54

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Targa Carrera

wkiernan > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 12:59

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Of course he'd want to break up with a woman named Cressida. Suppose as a diplomatic move the Prime Minister sent her as a hostage to the Russians. The minute she got there she'd be all flirting with Pootin and stuff. How's a Prince supposed to put up with that?

tapzz > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 14:09

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Oh deary me, the uppity colonials are forgetting their home nation lessons again. *cracks pedantry knuckles*

There is no country called 'England'. There is a nation called 'England', which together with three other nations make up the country called 'the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland'. That's not the full extent of Mr Windsor's princitude, though, since your Canuck brothers up North, as well as the ones Down Under (both Ozzie and Kiwi flavours) also have him as royalty.

Any road, can I present Her Majesty, Queen Máxima of the Netherlands:

Sadly, she's from Argentina, not Nissan.

poxman > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 14:12

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Uglisita Yugo

Spoon II > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 15:36

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Pierce Brosnan approves of Xenia Onatopp, and he's practically British royalty himself.

ranwhenparked > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 18:05

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Actually, he's a prince of the entire United Kingdom, not just England, which sounds even more impressive - and makes it all the more believable that he would be dating someone that sounds like a real life Bond girl.

Mike mike > Patrick George 05/01/2014 at 18:58

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Rose Royce

Bat21 > PS9 05/01/2014 at 20:45

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Not really.

Bat21 > tapzz 05/01/2014 at 21:07

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Dude, that's backwards. England is a country and the United Kingdom is a nation. Also, Harry is not officially prince of anything. He's only called a prince because he is the son of one. He will get a title when he marries or when his dad becomes King (whichever comes first).

Frenchlicker > Caspian Kilkelly 05/02/2014 at 11:45

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Were you going solely for stripper names?

tapzz > Bat21 05/02/2014 at 12:12

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From "Life in the UK", published by the Home Office: "The official name of the country is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland."

Since the British Queen is the head of state of several otherwise independent states, Harry is recognised as a Royal Prince in places other than the UK.

Eddie Brannan > Patrick George 05/04/2014 at 14:58

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As in Troilus and Cressida, you numskull.

I love you but I've chosen hooning! > Patrick George 05/04/2014 at 15:42

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- Miata Always

Caspian Kilkelly > Frenchlicker 05/08/2014 at 11:48

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No, but I work with burlesque performers on a daily basis, so it probably influences my life in other ways. Like names.

Frenchlicker > Caspian Kilkelly 05/08/2014 at 22:06

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Understandable

pollenstein > ranwhenparked 05/21/2014 at 06:41

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and also the Commonwealth I believe

ranwhenparked > pollenstein 05/21/2014 at 08:13

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That too.